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Something Fishy? Cheating Failure.

February 8, 2010

Am I a failure? I am now addicted to Happy Aquarium. Yes, I am talking about the Facebook application that involves buying, feeding, training, mating and selling fish. I also like cleaning the tank. Honestly.

This is not my aquarium.

This is my aquarium.


And yet I love it too much. All morning, I trained my fish. They could “zig” and “zag” and some could even “loop.” I even consulted the experts at Yahoo! Answers. (Apparently, a pink squid and a blue squid will spawn golden squidlets.) Then I stumbled across how to cheat hack play Happy Aquarium with ease. Except I don’t have Windows, so I’ll never have the funds for a mini pink orca or a snorkeling hamster.

I went to the gym. To get over the whole aquarium thing. My ipod died before I started to exercise. I forgot my bottle of water. Days of Our Lives was playing on the television, unfortunately. What an abysmal day. But then! My endorphins kicked in…

I wasn’t as fast on the elliptical as the orange Sammy Sweetheart look-a-like. I wasn’t as skinny as the bendy blonde barbie gymnast. I wasn’t as old and grumbly as that guy with the walker, chicken legs and Santa Claus beard. . . But it didn’t matter that I don’t have Windows. I can work out (almost) just as hard as the best of them!

My aquarium is a failure. But failing at cheating? That makes me a winner. Training virtual fish in an imaginary tank is not nearly as satisfying as real physical training at the gym. Lesson for the day: Never start playing Happy Aquarium. There is no happiness to be found when trapped underwater in a glass box.

Today: 300 grams of milk chocolate with whole hazelnuts.


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